Set up your FREE 15 minute discovery call now!
Okay okay, I’m being intentionally cheeky with that subject line.
But let me tell you what I mean.
First of all, I’m not talking about looking good in a bathing suit or comparing ourselves to airbrushed underwear models.
Those are unattainable and deeply problematic ideals of beauty that have nothing to do with you and everything to do with unrealistic expectations created by our culture.
(If you look great in a bathing suit or are an underwear model, super. This post is still for you.)
No, what I’m talking about is our personal need to feel desirable. And what that means for you is different from what that means to me.
(Being an underwear model doesn’t make you desirable, not really.)
One is a subjective external expectation put on us by society. The other is how people see us, and most importantly how we see ourselves.
When you feel desirable, you feel strong and confident. You have a positive view of yourself and you put that positivity and confidence out into the world.
And I don’t just mean romantic desirability! You can be desirable as a friend, a mentor, an employee, an influencer or even an in-demand nutrition coach.
But ok, here’s the hook:
The qualities that make you desirable to others, they come from you.
(Read that again!)
Your mindset. Your confidence. Your patience. Your focus and attention. Your positive energy.
I sincerely believe the outward projection of our feelings of confidence, intelligence, strength and self worth are a major part of what make us desirable romantic partners, employees, mentors or coaches.
I’m not talking about arrogance here - that is an unearned confidence that is largely used to cover up feelings of self doubt and inadequacy.
If you’re anxious all the time, you’re likely not feeling confident or patient or focused.
If you often feel depressed, that positive energy might be hard to come by, and you might not feel you have reason to be confident about much. (You do!)
Maybe you’ve been stuck on a hamster wheel of fad diets and energy roller coaster rides, making you feel like you’ll never lose the weight and feel the way you did before you had kids.
You can’t feel worthy of someone’s desire until you feel worthy of yourself.
Changing that mindset is… not easy.
You won’t be strong and patient when you are feeling stressed and anxious.
You won’t be focused, curious and engaged when you are suffering from self doubt and depression.
If most of your energy is spent battling your own demons, you won’t have any left to give to others around you.
But believe it or not, there are some simple steps to take to help you feel strong and confident, positive and worthy.
How to change your mindset
Bringing both your physical and mental health into balance with nutrition, exercise and sleep will do wonders.
Giving your brain the nutrients that it needs to deal with inflammation and oxidation while producing neurotransmitters like serotonin can greatly improve states of anxiety and depression, and even help with conditions like bipolar disorder.
Exercise does amazing things for both our body and brain. Reducing inflammation, stimulating growth factors that build muscle and brain cells, and generating feel good hormones like oxytocin and dopamine.
Just walking outside, and especially in nature, has been shown to not only improve our metabolism, but reduce stress and many report feeling more focused and productive after a walk in nature.
Sleep is what resets our brains every night, and gives our body the time it needs to rest and repair. Your brain actually shrinks during the night as fluid washes your brain while you sleep. Without adequate rest, your body and brain cannot reset and repair, causing more inflammation and hormone imbalance, brain fog, mood swings, and poor food choices.
Of course, talk therapy with your therapist does wonders to help you process what is going on in your life and hopefully brings you resolution or acceptance.
So look, I think in one way or another we all want to feel desirable. To our partners. To our bosses. To our peer groups or to our clients.
Which means that we all want to feel worthy of being wanted.
Start by tending your own garden. You have control over the food you eat, the quality of your sleep, how much you move your body, and how you spend your time.
Once you bring those things into balance, you’ll see how worthy you’ve always been.
Y’all, your mental health and physical health are two sides of the same coin. My 6-month nutrition program is designed to help you balance both the mental and physical with nutrition, exercise, sleep and mindset.
If this is something you need help with, I’ve got a spot in my program with your name on it.
Ready? Let’s go!
Comments